But by the grace of God I am what I am and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain, but I labored more abundantly that they all — yet not I , but the grace of God which was with me. 1 Corinthians 15:10
Dear Sweet Happy Asses,.
No No No, I am not talking about the butt you are sitting on or you work out when you do squats and deadlifts. I am talking about that word at the end of a sentence and what it means to say things like: But for the grace of God…… I have heard that over and over throughout my lifetime and repeated it many times but what does it really mean to me?
Okay I am in a state of overwhelm right now and have been in this peak cortisol production life for quite a few months. I took on some heavy responsibilities in the form of two young humans and I have yet to figure it out. I added this to my life and filled it on top of the life I was living thinking quite erroneously that I could just pile it all on. That is far far far from the truth.
The outcome has been a restless energy and sleepless nights and wondering and fretting about how I do this at this phase of my life. It’s not something that I can really talk much about because there is very little time for talking. But I do know this and it is a time honored tradition of mine and that is to go back to my basics and ask how do I start each day with the grace and the power that surrounds me in my faith.
I think that I have to look at grace like a personalized portion that is given just to me just when I need it and at the portion of what is needed. I have always been known as the person with unlimited energy and unbridled enthusiasm and so when I don’t feel that way it is so foreign to me.
When you think things like maybe I could just move far far away and sell everything yadda yadda yadda. Not really good ideas BUT I do remember except for the grace of God go I. Anytime I have had things that are beyond my strength I have depended on the grace and the strength of God to carry me through. What I am trying to learn at this phase of my life is to accept that maybe just maybe I need to figure out a life that is not so busy and not so full that I have margin to enjoy this one beautiful life that God has given me.
I am sitting here early in my sweet office, thinking and reflecting and writing and so grateful that I have my health and still have lots of energy, however just having more of a realistic view of how important a more balanced life will aid peace and eventually prosperity. I am working on asking for help and admitting that I am not superhuman and therefore can not do it all.
There I said it!!! I am wondering if I have the courage to post this or does it say inside of me? I have learned however that holding things inside just builds and explodes and a more healthy life admits when you need to slow it down and think of how big your but is!!!
I know that if I focus on trusting God, trusting that life is precious and all the trials and tribulations give me the chance to remember who I am and how life is precious.
So I am not selling everything and I am not moving away although at times that remote island is tempting. I do love my life and am so very grateful for it. I know that God’s grace is for me and for you.
So grateful so very grateful,
Karen Key Smith
Ps. I am learning that being more vulnerable is the key to being honest and making sure that I allow grace from others to flow in and out of my life.
